Good news! Remember that time I tried the salt water cleanse? And remember how I was all bummed out cause it didn't work at all (It was supposed to cleanse me out)? Well, I'm happy to say that I have discovered a formula that cleansed me out ten times as much as that stupid salt water. Behold, a modest gallon of lukewarm water, the secret to instant diarrhea! The challenge today was what is called the gallon challenge; its simple, just drink a gallon of water in one hour. I think that your supposed to drink milk, but we didn't want to test our luck and I like the taste of milk to much and I would hate for this challenge to ruin that for me. So we went with water. I thought that this was going to be another lame challenge...I was wrong. It was Jarred (a kid from work) and I that decided to try it. We both got a gallon of drinking water from the store, wrote our names on our jugs, set the stop watch for one hour, and cheered to each other before setting off on our thirst quenching journey. We both started off very well. I made sure not to burn myself out in the beginning but I felt satisfied with my progress within my first 10 or so gulps. We marked our progress every ten minutes with a sharpie. I was trailing Jarred by like an inch according to the markers, which meant I had a lot of catching up to do if I wanted to win. We marked the 30 minute mark with a red sharpie and thats about when I started to get nervous, and bloated. I was just barely under the half way mark then, and my whole body started to hurt. I had no idea how painful this challenge would be. My head started to pulsate, my stomach felt like it had reached it's stretching point, and I felt like sitting on the toilet was the only thing on my mind. We had about 15 minutes left when Jarred finished his jug and headed towards the bathroom to relieve himself. I still had about 1/8th to go and I felt like throwing up was quickly becoming more of a probability. I honestly didn't think that I would make it. But thats when I realized that I cant recall a single time where I have successfully completed a food related challenge for this project. I've failed them all so far. Thats when I decided that I would not fail this one. I wanted at least one victory. So, I nutted up, and I shutted up, and I chugged as much unwanted water as I could muster. The chugging didn't last long but, without hesitation, I went right back to my beverage. Soon enough, my bottle was empty, my stomach had surpassed its capacity, and I felt oddly terrible and accomplished at the same time. I did it, I won. Well, for the time being I guess. Since then its been about 6 hours, and I have endured a pretty bad case of diarrhea, 7 separate trips to the restroom to pee, a mild head ache, and me feeling all around like shit. It kind of sucked, but at least I won this challenge, and I cleansed myself out finally.
Anybody who knows me knows that I mean business when it comes to food. I don't like to mess around when its meal time. I know exactly what I am going to get when I'm waiting in line at Subway, and I know that if you don't clearly specify that its a "chicken-queso-burrito" at Qdoba, they probably won't bother with the queso. I know these things because I have constantly been refining my ordering process since I started going to these eateries. I find out what I like, what I don't and what phrasing I have to use to ensure I get my damn queso. I do this with about every place I go, that is, except Chipotle. I have gotten the same order from chipotle (word for word, ingredient for ingredient) since always. Well, I mean, I guess there was that one time that I only felt like getting chips and guacamole, but other than that, I've got a clean slate. I remember the first time I went to a Chipotle; my mom took me their and she ordered for me cause I wasn't old enough to distinguish what tasted good and what didn't I guess. We took our burritos back to her work and ate them. The burrito (filled with chicken, black beans, rice, mild salsa, cheese, guacamole and lettuce) was massive, and tasty, and very verrrrrrryyyyyy filling. I like the burrito a lot. I liked it enough to get it every time I returned.
Boldly tasting what no Kyle has tasted before.
Sean eating his creation
And that brings us up to present day, where I was waiting in line at Chipotle with my dad and brother. I was telling my dad that I had yet to complete my new thing for the day. I suggested that straying away from my usual burrito order could pass as a (lame but countable) goal. My dad agreed and added that if I let my brother order for me, then it wouldn't be as lame. So, I let Sean (my brother) order my dinner for me. I gave all of my trust and taste buds to him. I didn't know if would do a good job ordering, all I know is that he knows that I hate sour cream. I don't remember exactly how the order went, but I think it went a little like this; Burrito salad with barbacoa, black beans, rice, hot sauce, cheese and sour cream (the bold is to show all the differentials between my usual and this order). I wasn't too siked when I heard him order the sour cream but I knew that I had to eat it either way. I coated the top of my salad with tabasco and dug in. It really wasn't that bad at all, it just wasn't my burrito. It wasn't my trusty ol' meal. I didn't care too much for the sour cream and the hot sauce wasn't that great but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a good meal, but I think that I probably will rely on my usual order for next time.
I find it funny that I'm completed a challenge at this particular Chipotle cause this is where the a lot of the brainstorming of the project took place. It was a couple days before I decided to make this a year long project. My sister and I were eating burritos here and I was complaining about how I want to experience everything that the world has to offer and what not. Thats about when I decided to start doing new things everyday.
Today I took on the task of learning some basic origami (along with learning the proper spelling of the word origami). My friend Kevin taught me how to make a couple simple shapes while at work, but the real origami folding session began once I got home. I looked up some basics for me to try. After miserably failing at my first two attempts at making an "8 point star", I decided to go with a cube. It wasn't that hard now that I think of it. It was just a lot of redundancy because the cube was made out of 6 identical pieces of paper that were all folded in strange ways. I got around to folding all of the pieces of the puzzle and all that was left was to simply slide the ends of each part into slots of its counterparts. Before I knew it I had an impressive looking paper cube. I took some time to scribble on it with sharpie and then it was done. Aw yea.
I was hanging around at the skate shop (Good Ol Lumber) today when Lenny (the owner) was telling me about the microphone that he bought so he could start doing interviews. Its like one of those mics that you see clipped on the collars of reporters. So I got hooked up with the mic and Lenny had what he called an "interview". He filmed me and asked me some hard hitting questions (sarcasm). One of the questions were; "When was the last time you and Mouse ate Chinese food?". The whole interview was basically just him casually asking me random questions. Thats when we switched roles, I took charge of the camera and Lenny fixed the mic to his shirt. Now it was my turn to throw a couple below the belt punches (more sarcasm). I blurted out whatever factoids and questions I could think of. I remember asking him how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie pop (1,224. I tried it in the 8th grade) and what his third favorite color is (apparently its red). All in all, it was a pretty laid back interview and we really didn't learn any more about each other. I guess I was the first one to use the mic since he got it. So once he figures exactly out how to work it we will film a real interview.
I don't have the recording for the interview yet but I do have a picture of the shirt that I designed online for a challenge like a week ago voila!
Thats right, I learned how to make balloon animals yesterday. I got the little beginner kit and everything. I mastered the "dog" and the "basic hat" but my dragon and 3 color flower didn't really turn out so well which is a shame. It turns out that its way harder to pop the balloons while your twisting and contorting them into uncomfortable shapes than I thought. They are really flexible and so I only popped like 2 or 3 balloons. great success!
This a goal that I have tried countless time but have yet to successfully complete. Thats not good considering that I have to wear a tie when I work as a waiter at my other job. I hate having to ask someone to tie it cause I'm too incompetent to do so myself. I actually ended up winning the "ugliest tie contest" at my work during the Christmas party. I think that lighting the tie on fire, staining it with various condiments from the fridge and covering it in tar may have been what won it for me. I remember someone complementing the tie after I won. They said something along the lines of "I like how bad you tied it to give it more of a trashed feel". I admit that I put an embarrassing amount of time (like 2 hours) into making that tie look god awful, but making the tie look bad didn't translate into how poorly I tied it. Actually I spent another embarrassing chunk of time trying to figure out how a tie is even worn. So that comment made by a fellow employee is why I decided that today, I would learn how to tie a tie.
I watched this video several times and it seemed to explain the whole ordeal pretty well. I'm still not very good at it, but I'm way closer to looking somewhat presentable then I currently was
Day 49's challenge felt really good to do. I felt like giving that homeless man a free lunch defiantly brighten up his day and brought me some much needed karma points. That being said, I totally did a completely lame challenge for day 50. I feel like it was deserved, like I'm canceling each other out. I don't want to be doing only really awesome, super fantastic, charitable challenges left and right. I'd get burnt out too quickly. That's why I'm evening things out with a random "dud day" (I just coined that one) every now and then. Day 50 was an unmistakable dud day.
I wanted to try becoming a secret shopper for the day's challenge, but my computer was bugging out on their website so that was a no-go. I searched around google for a while trying to find a challenge where I could take some sort of online survey or something. That rabbit hole threw me towards a website called www.voiceyouropinionnow.com . That's all it was, a site for you to vote on topics and "voice your opinion". I joined and voted on a couple elections (mostly stupid things like what your favorite taste in music is, or how you feel towards plastic surgery). Lame, I know. Giving my unwanted opinion on what "my best workout is" isn't exactly as noble as the challenge before, but whatever. The challenge may be lame, and I may be a lame-lama for counting it, but I don't care, counts in my book.
Its been like 24 hours since I did this challenge and I'm still feeling damn good about it. I packed a lunch and went downtown to find a homeless man to give the lunch to. I went to a Super Target and picked up a couple cheap snacks to throw into the unsheltered mans lunch bag. I got a lunchable, some apple juice and a big ol bag of generic cheeto's; I was set. I was downtown to take care of some unfinished school business at Metro but I figured that the homeless man's lunch challenge would be a good goal to tack onto my day's agenda. So, I took care of my school stuff and I skated around the city for a couple hours and on my way back to my car, I saw a man with a tattered cardboard sign. The sign was stained with dirt and sharpie. I simply skated up to him and said "Hungry?". He looked at me surprised, and I said "Want some food?". I don't really know why he looked so surprised, I mean he was holding a sign that was asking for help, and I happened to offer the help he was seeking. He saw as I unzipped my backpack and pulled out the Super Target grocery bag. He nodded cheerily as I handed it to him and hinted to what might have became a smile. I didn't have time to chit chat cause I had to get to work but I assume that he was pretty stoked. Call it karma, call it mo-jo, but whatever you call it, it felt good to do good.
So I just got done taking a free online IQ test and the results are in. As it turns out, I'm pretty average when it comes to smarts. I fall just a couple points above the median score. I don't know if I should really trust the results that I got, I mean, it was free, and it was online. I actually ended up taking two tests because the first one that I took turned out to be a practical joke that said that I was so dumb that I decided to trust an online survey to correctly asses my mental capacity with 10 short questions. So that was a little embarrassing, but I forgot about it once I found a more professional looking test. The second test had a lot more questions and they were defiantly harder to answer. I ended up getting a 101 which is basically as average as you can get. I aint no genius and I guess I'm not mentally retarded. Ya learn something new everyday.
Mouse's hair was getting a little out of control and so I volunteered to take care of that mop of his. I have cut my own hair a couple times (never really turned out that great) but never have I found someone that would dare trust me to cut theirs. We set up in my room as a skate. I played a skate video to relax his nerves and I chopped away. I tried to give him a mo-hawk but it was pretty apparent early on that it just wasn't happening. So I took the easy route and just buzzed the whole thing to one even length. He texted me today to let me know that I only missed one little patch and that he took care of it. That's a success in my book.
The salt water cleanse is a challenge that I have been planning on trying for while now. Basically, its a quart of warm water with 2 tablespoons of non iodized salt, that will make you have to cleanse your bowels withing minutes of chugging it. The instructions made sure to say that you should expect diarrhea within 15 minutes to 2 hours of drinking the salt solution. So, Kevin and I picked up some salt and headed over to his house for what we hoped to be a pooping fiesta. We stirred the mixture into four heaping glasses, two glasses for each of us. The instructions said to "test the waters" and make sure that the drink was extra salty, like really salty. I took a sip from my cup and sure enough, along with it being way too hot for my own good, I had an extremely salty beverage. Thats about when I realized that this challenge was not going to be fun (even though I can't recall a time where explosive diarrhea was ever fun). The hot salt water tasted horrible. It was like I had just microwaved ocean water. But Kevin and I began to chug it anyway. I think this whole cleanse thing should count as two challenges, cause (although no one told me) actually getting the water down proved to be an obstacle in itself. I got a couple gulps in when I had to take a break and rest my taste buds. We switched off from chugging with our eyes squinted to showing our disgust with tongues sticking out and our eyes still squinting. Eventually, we both had both of our cups emptied. We passed the time by playing some singing game (I think its the vocal version of rock band, it had special little microphones and everything) that told me what I already know; I suck at singing. I sat there, rapping to Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" when I noticed my stomach growling. That got me excited (it wasn't good excitement) and so I drove home so I could do my business in private. I got home and to my disappointment, nothing happened. Nothing at all. I waited for almost two hours before I called bull on the whole cleanse. I went to bed and slept until around 4:30 in the morning when my stomach woke me up. I figured that maybe the flush was about to actually work, so I went back to the bathroom one last time. But yet again, nothing happened. I checked my phone which had an unread message from Kevin that simply read "Oh my god". So it worked for him, but not me. I guess I can't be too sad that I was spared the diarrhea, but I had my heart set on this goal for like a week now. Maybe I'll try it again, but its not looking hopeful.
I was about to order a bag of custom m&m's with my face printed on them for my new goal when I read the fine print on the website that said "minimum purchase of 4 bags". Each bag was like 13 bucks a pop so there was no way that I was about to pay for four of them. So I wondered on some more sites until I found a T-shirt making company. Long story short, I customized a shirt, ordered it, and bought it for a substantially smaller price than the custom candy. I'll include a picture once I get it.
I signed up for the tweeting phenomenon today, and thats honestly something that I never thought I would say. I guess I had to see what all the buzz was about. The idea for the challenge came from my sister. She texted me "It's not as gay as some people describe it. I signed up for an account today and it keeps you updated on your favorite famous people". Oddly that wasn't really the selling point, because I don't really have very many favorites when it comes to famous people. I stray away from celebrities and gossip magazines. But I needed a new thing, and twitter was it. So I signed up for it, set a profile pic, and "followed" a couple people(twitterers? twittiteers? twittographers?). If anyone feels the need or desire to check out my account, feel free too, or not, no pressure, really, this is kind of a run-on sentence. So yeah, thats it. laterrrr.
I had my heart set on doing the salt water cleanse for yesterday's challenge but a friend of mine talked me out of it and said that there were way better things for me to do other than spend my night violently pooping. So, we went around town trying to find new and exciting things for me to try. But not much turned up. It was already late and I was tired. We found ourselves inside the garden section of a Walmart when it became apparent that I had yet to get into the gardening business. I picked up a little pouch of watermelon seeds (cause watermelon is delicious) and planted them in the backyard. It wasn't until after planting them that I realized that the cold weather will probably freeze them instantly. So, chalk that up to another lame, but completed challenge.
I consider myself a pretty clean person. I shower daily, I brush my teeth and I wash my hands after I pee. I don't think that I'm a germaphobe or anything, I'm just into sanitation. Thats why yesterday, while I was cleaning the womens restroom at my second job, I had to step out of my comfort zone and take one for the team. Now, I don't want to go into detail about what all went down, but it was bad. It involved me holding my breath while changing out the trash bags in a room seeping with an abominable stench and picking up and disposing two used tampons. The stinky room was bad, but not that bad in comparison. There are these little trash cans on the walls of the stalls in the girls bathroom. They are for the disposal of feminine things and they are supposed to have little trash bags lined around them so that they poor guy (me) that has to clean them can do so without direct contact. I was designated to pick up the red perpetrator cause I was the only one out of my co-workers that had worn gloves to bathroom duty, I was not siked. Thats what I get for being clean and cautious, I get picked. But someone had to do it, and that someone...was me. I unrolled several spins of toilet paper to use as an extra-just-in-case-barrier and I hesitantly reached into the mini trash can. My coworkers watched in amusement as I failed to grab it on my first attempt. I didn't think that I could pull myself to try again, but somehow I did. I reached in (this time with even more toilet paper protection) and pinched the tampon with my thumb and pointer finger. I lifted it out and, as if I was handling highly explosive plutonium, carefully walked it towards the trash bag. I did it, and it was gross, but at least I did it. It was almost as bad as that time the septic tank in the basement of that building overflowed and I had to spend my shift squeegeeing and mopping up a basement flooded with human waste. That was a terrible, terrible time. Point of the challenge, I (yet again) overcame my fear of all things gross, and (more importantly) I don't get paid enough.
The 8x8 rule is when your supposed to drink 8 glasses with 8 oz of water. I use the word supposed very loosely cause I found out that the 8x8 rule really doesn't have any scientific data to back its claim. Its more of a guideline thats been set by people that assume that they are right. I wanted to find the vlogbrothers video in which John explains how your body will tell you when your thirsty and when you need to stop chugging but its so hard to find. He says that the rule is bologna and that instead of trusting what others prescribe about how much to drink, you should, I don't know, consult yourself. So today I did the 8x8 rule, which was not that hard at all. I guess that I was under the impression that I would be downing glasses left and right, and then I'd probably almost wet myself halfway through. But, it was pretty uneventful. In fact, I ended up drinking about one extra cup out of pure thirst. Water is basically the only thing (other than milk and juice) I drink anyways. I don't feel anymore alive than I normally do, but who knows, maybe the 8x8 rule is the bee's knees. I might try the salt water cleanse next, I hear its supposed to flush me out. I think it works like a natural colon-blow. Yee-haw.
Today I attempted to cook a diner style sandwich (or at least thats what I call it). Yeah, I know that this challenge is lame...But so is having no time in the day because I worked and went to school today. The veggie challenge just ended so I thought that I should welcome my meat eating diet back by making a favorite meat filled sandwich of mine. I remember eating one of these puppies a while back, and I recall it being damn delicious, so I wanted to try. The sandwich is basically a grilled cheese sandwich, with mayo, ranch dressing, ketchup, ham, turkey, salami, and a couple of cheesy scrambled eggs. I stacked each component on top of each other and cooked it till the bread was golden brown, I seasoned the eggs with some garlic salt and pepper. I cooked up a can of chicken noodle soup and a tall glass of milk to go with the meal. The sandwich was delicious, maybe even better than what I remembered. It wasn't very hard to make either. All I had to look out for was not screwing up the eggs while the rest of the sandwich was cooking. So thats a definite success in my book.
Welp, snow still sucks, and its still here...which sucks. I didn't go outside at all today. I didn't change out of the clothes I slept in. I didn't even brush my teeth or shower this morning (I know right). I feel like I'm stuck in slow motion when the weather is crappy. And its not that cool kind of slow motion like in that movie Clockstoppers. Its the bad slow motion, the kind that is overused in corny action films or what prisoners in solitary confinement have to deal with. I'm trapped in a box, and the time drips like molasses here. So instead of doing homework, I painted. Painting isn't my new thing for today, but it was most of my day consisted of.
As, for my new thing, I made a resume. Now you might think that making a resume is my lamest goal so far (I would probably agree) but I think that, given the circumstances (the weather and my lack of ambition), making a resume was probably the most productive thing I could have done. I made one with a free online service that would conveniently mold my info and experience into a professional looking piece of awesome. I typed everything up and the product looked great. My resume was organized and easy to digest. The only problem was that the free part of the online service was that typing my info was about the only thing that it would let me do. I couldn't send my portfolio or use most of the features, and forget about the print option. Every time I tried to send or print the file, a matter-of-factly window would pop up to tell me that only paying subscribers were allowed full access to those "advanced features". Thats how they get ya. But they didn't get me, I stubbornly copy and pasted each and every category of info (cause for some reason, I couldn't simply copy any text from the print preview window) and fiddled with Microsoft Word till my rigged version was comparable to the original. It was a lame goal but lets see who's laughing once I land a job that will pay me enough to not be considered broke. That'll be the day.
Well, another storm seems to be moving in. I was at work and witnessed one ridiculous change in weather. Earlier today was a mild 50 degrees with a pleasant, mostly sunny sky. Now thats some weather I could get used to...well at least until summer finally gets here. I cant take this freezing overcast environment. Its too gloomy and depressing. I feel like the sun complements any situation, always. The warm rays it brings and comforting breeze can make any scenario suck a little less. I feel like we're all a little solar powered, or at least our mood is influenced when its beautiful outside. Point is; Love summer, bummed out during winter. Today is day 7 of my vegetarian challenge. That means its over, I beat it. I think that might even be my first edible challenge that wasn't a complete failure (I guess that the raw egg challenge {day one} was a successful food challenge, but I wouldn't really consider myself the winner with all things considered. No one's a winner when it comes to raw eggs). So yea, I completed my challenge and to celebrate, I made a full on veggie friendly meal. It wasn't anything special because I had school and work today, but it was damn delicious. I cooked some cheesy noodles, fried up a couple grilled cheese sammiches, cut up some apple slices, and cut up a lemon wedge for my sprite (for looks). The cheese, along with everything else, was delectable. It was a simple yet time and cost efficient way to make a tasty, meat free meal. I finished my meal and headed off to work where I served fat people food that they absolutely do not need while we got dumped on with the worst of winter. Another day in the life of Kyle Garlock.
I don't know how well any of you guys keep up with this blog thang, but if you do, you might remember a couple weeks ago when I tried requesting a song on the radio. I tried to get a song on the air but none of the stations would answer. I called and recalled but nobody would answer, so I settled for sending a station an e-mail with my request. I had to assume that the song got in on the air because I had to go to work shortly after. Needlessly to say, that was pretty lame. So, because I felt that that challenge was a tad too lame, I had another crack at it today. It doesn't count as my new thing for today, its just cause I heard the DJ on the radio say that it was "The All Request Retro Show" with "Alf", and I knew that it was my opportunity to make one of my goals not suck as much. So, I called, and requested one of the only "retro" songs that I either knew or cared to hear, which was "Are Friends Electric" by Tubeway Army. Its a funky lil tune from 1979. I heard it once while chowing down on a nacho cheese chalupa at Taco Bell (toxic hell) and shazamed it on my phone. I've got it on the iPod, so I could listen to it right now if I really wanted to. But for some reason, I feel the need to sit at my computer and wait through half a dozen songs and commercials for Alf to play my request. Maybe it will sound better, or maybe I'll just feel a little bit special knowing that I'm the reason this song is playing. I am (in a very little way) in control of what other people are experiencing. Its meaningless to everyone except for the person requesting the song. I think of those weirdos that hold the neon colored signs with the sharpie inscribed scribble in front of that building on the Good Morning America show when I say that. They are so excited when the camera pans over them for a split second. It means so much to them, but not to you or me. All I see when I watch that is that there is a group of idiots in 12 degree weather that hoop and holler as they hold the signs that no one will read. So thats me right now. I'm anxiously leaning into the speakers of my computer, awaiting my turn to be in the spotlight. To be the one that changes what other people hear (or see in the case of the Good Morning America fans. Or any other group that wants to feel important when its not necessary). We're all searching for ways to make our mark. Apparently today was the super bowl, and apparently its super important that I watch it. Everyone was talking about it and posting their predictions and trash talk over Facebook. I mean, if everyones doing it, it must be right...right? Well I'm not really into football but I decided to watch anyways. Its not that I don't like football, I just don't like watching football. The same rules apply to almost anything that is even mildly entertaining. I would much rather play the sport than watch it, kind of like how I would much rather eat the chocolate cake as opposed to looking at the picture in a cookbook. But I sat through most of the game anyways, because it had to do with my new thing of the day. I decided that, due to the game-fever everyone was experiencing, I should have a football themed challenge. I wanted to take part in a sports bet (I think they're illegal so don't tell anyone!). I told him that I would bet 10 bucks that my team would win (one problem...I don't have a team). When I pick favorites of things that I know nothing about (cars, football teams, Pokemon, etc.), I usually look at whichever teams logo is cooler looking (As it turns out, that doesn't work as well with Pokemon, Snorlax gets his ass kicked all the time). The problem is, both the Green Bay Packers and the Pitsburg Steelers have lame logos. I couldn't decide which mascot would win the game. Either a capital letter "G", or a couple of oblong square/star things. So I asked my dad what team he sided with (Green Bay), and I placed my bet against it. Four quarters, a couple interceptions and a musical performance or two later, I was paying my father his well earned 10 dollars. I lost and I clearly see why. Logos don't make the team, touchdowns and stats do. I guess I'll bet on whatever team my dad goes with next year.
Before I tell you upfront what my new thing for today was, please keep in mind that this project is more quantity than quality. I have to do a new thing every single day, that means that every now and then, you all are going to have to settle for me completing a pretty lame goal. Theres just too many experiences and not enough time. So today was one of those goals. Today I attempted to fix my favorite pair of jeans with a little old method known as sewing. I got the supplies needed; needle, scissors, and string. Then I looked up a couple of how-to videos on youtube to try and get a feel for what I was doing. The only problem with the videos was that the lady always assumed that I had a sewing machine or that I knew what all her lingo meant. I was lost and things were not getting any clearer, so I did what I do best, tried it with out knowing what the hell I was doing. I have had stitches a couple of times and so I tried to focus and remember how the doctor stitched the brow above my eye, and then I tried to recreate that stitching in the butt of my pants. I didn't bother with any of that complex weaving crap that the lady in the video was blabbering about, just simple crisscrossing for me. I tied the string across the tear and tightened it securely. So far the pants look like they might hold up for a little while, but who knows. It was a pretty boring challenge to complement a pretty boring day.
Sad to say that I did not end up the winning the Power Ball Lottery ticket... I guess I have to go to work still...balls.
The weather outside today were perfect condition for laundry, homework and watching Lost on netflix. In fact, thats basically all I did today. I wrote two and a half essays, washed and folded one load of laundry and watched roughly 5 episodes of Lost (they leave you with such suspenseful cliffhangers so you are forced to watch another episode). I may have been pretty lazy today, but that doesn't mean that there wasn't new things to be had. So, I'm like on day 4 of the vegetarian challenge and I realized that I had only been taking note of the crappy parts of being a vegetarian (like, you know...not eating meat). I was settling for crappy grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup to calm my needy tummy. I wasn't really enjoying the experience, which was not cool with me. I should be siked that I'm trying new things like the veggie lifestyle. I shouldn't be punishing my stomach by only consuming cheese and bread because its the only thing I could make that was meat-free. Thats why today, with my friend Mouse, I made my first vegetarian meal. Vegetarian pizza, its a new thing for today and it counts towards that veggie challenge, now thats a 2 bird, one stone scenario. Mouse and I went to the Sunflower Market to pick out some tasty meat free foods. As it turns out, eating healthy may pay off health wise in the long run, but it rips you off financially right now. Everything in there was a pretty penny. We made it out of the store with minimal damage to the wallet. We got some stuff called tofurkey (which sounds like next big curse word), a build your own pizza starter kit (that promised 3 packets of pizza sauce inside but only held 2, rip off!) and a 6 pack of organic orange cream soda (Mouses idea). The rest of the story is pretty straight forward; we cooked the pies and the tofurkey with some cheese. Once the pizzas were done, I layered mine with ranch dressing and Frank's Red Hot. The lunch was pretty alright, I wouldn't compare it to the pizza that I almost couldn't resist from last night, but it did the job. Tofurkey is basically tofu that has been molded into the shape of a hot dog that has a hint of sausage aftertaste. I wouldn't recommend hosting a tofurkey BBQ, but I would defiantly check into them if I was considering going veggie for a more long term plan. It was that simple, I was tired of eating crappy meatless food, so I made a mediocre meatless pizza. Great success!
I've been going strong with this anti-meat diet for a couple days now. I happily ate my meat-free cereal for lunch instead of the typical ham sammich. I bypassed the beef jerky in the grocery store (though to be fair, I don't think that beef jerky would be much of a threat even when I'm not boycotting the carnivorous lifestyle). Things were looking good, it seemed like another day of vegie-ville would breeze by. That was however, until I got off work and came home to the intoxicating aroma of a freshly cooked pepperoni pizza. I was so hungry, and the meat layered slices of joy seemed to call to me, in the way that the sent of apple pie consumes the attention of hobos in cartoons. My stomach ached for nourishment and the pizza was more than palatable. I thought over the situation for a second. I assessed how far along I was with the project and how much it meant to me. I seriously considered simply picking off the meat parts so it would still be meat-less. I pondered the thought for a while longer. Then I realized, that simply picking off the meat is almost as bad as eating the meat. (side-note: I'm not saying that eating meat is, an anyway bad, I'm only stating that eating meat during this week long meat-free project is bad. It just means that If I succumb to temptation and consume meat, I lose the challenge.) I set a goal. The goal being: don't eat meat for 7 days, and I don't plan on losing that challenge within the first 3 days. And so, I resisted the urge to heat up the tempting meat slice. I resisted not because I believe that all animals should have the right to a life of euphoric field grazing and galloping through the meadows of utopia (not that I don't), but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could go seven straight days without consuming meat. So I settled for another crappy (but not nearly as bad as yesterday's) grilled cheese sammich. The vegie-challenge still rides! So thats that. My challenge was pretty lame today. Because its still horribly cold outside and I had to work today, I went ahead and bought a Power Ball ticket. I'm not much for gambling (maybe that'll change when I turn the big 21). It seems like things that are so astronomically improbably as the Power Ball lottery shouldn't even be considered to be gambling. The way I see it, running out into the middle of a thunderstorm with a giant antenna attached to your head is more of a gamble than the lotto could ever claim to be. Your gambling your life. Essentially your betting that you will either run around and get really excited with all the adrenaline and walk away with nothing but damp clothes and a really memorable story to tell, or, you'll get struck by lightning and die. Both are fairly likely to happen. Either you get the big pay off (the near death experience/story), or you get squat (3rd degree burns). But you can't win if you don't play. I feel like that is what gambling is all about. So we'll see. If Saturday night rolls around and I happen to win the $50 million prize, I'll gladly revise my theory on the lottery. fingers crossed.
So the whole vegetarian thang is in full swing, well for the rest of the week that is. I'm still holding up nicely. A bowl of tomato soup and a disappointingly thin grilled cheese sammich got me through my lunch time meal. It's only been a day but I'm pretty proud of myself. I can say that today, February 2nd, 2011, I (Kyle), have not been directly responsible for the murder of some adorable farm animal for the sustainable nutrition of myself. I guess thats a good thing? Right? It probably isn't worth as many karma points as that whole donating blood ordeal, but I'm doing my part. And all I had to do was eat a crappy grilled cheese sammich. As for the rest of my day... It was pretty uneventful. I went to school (in my slippers) and I went to work (in my slippers). I consider slippers to be the flip flops of winter. Ya just gotta have um if you want to stay sane and comfortably stylish through these bitter months. I know that I'm ready for anything winter throws my way once I slip into them. Well, not really. They're really only good for lounging around while its too damn cold and icy to do anything worth doing. I really really despise winter, and I am always willing to rant my face off about why winter is nothing but suck (which I might just do). I have met many people that claim that they are absolutely thrilled to scrape inches of frost off their windshield in the mornings. They adore icy road conditions and the hassle of shoveling and re-shoveling their driveways. The early arriving, frigidly cold nights and the constant threat of contracting some sort of illness is just, peachy to them. I, on the other hand, feel a little different. I love summer, I love to be outside (when it doesn't require more than 2 layers of clothing), I love feeling the suns rays and hearing the looped recording of the ice cream truck. Scraped knees and sun burns. Summer, its about getting out there, anywhere, and doing things, anything. Everything is alive and fine in the summer months. I can only hope that summer gets here soon. So anyways (sorry about the tangent), I was at school, attempting to stay focused. Staying focused is some sort of a weak point of mine, and it has been for a while (see above paragraph/pointless tangent for example). I give some attention to the teacher for a while, then, I start to wander. I usually end up completely consumed in something meaningless like a doodle. Heres the one from today.
I finished a couple more doodles and was released from my last class. I was heading out to the parking lot with my friend Joey when I saw a girl pushing a dead PT Cruiser into a vacant spot in the lot. She finished maneuvering the car into place and shouted to us. She need a jump start and assumed that two strapping lads such as ourselves could help. And so my new thing for the day landed in my lap. I had never jumped a car before (Hell, I can barely drive one). Long story short, we jumped her car, saved her day and learned something new. I don't know if I could preform a car jump by myself, but at least I did it. Counts!
So, right now its -9 degrees outside. That means that its so cold, that even if the temperature magically shot up a hefty 41 degrees, it would still be cold enough to consider getting your tongue stuck to a metal pole a practical risk. Its so cold out that we were given a snow day, not because of the amount of snow that had fallen (about 2 inches), but because of the amount of ice on the roads and the dangerously low temp. My friend had to e-mail his teachers and explain to them that he couldn't get to class because of the inch thick layer of ice that had encased his car. He literally broke his ice scrapper in an attempt to get the ice off. It snapped in half. Its that kind of cold that justs slaps sheets of frozen pain onto your cheeks with every whip of the wind. It penetrates every inch of your lungs with cold, brute hate as you inhale. Its terrible, and I fucking hate winter.
The whole winter thang had nothing to do with my challenge today, but I just felt like getting that off my chest. So in an effort to distract myself from my own haterid/loathing of winter, I decided to focus on my new thing of the day. I decided to be a vegetarian. Now, I think that its safe to assume that you know the jist of how this project goes. I pick a new thing to do every day, and today, I picked to not eat meat. I know what your thinking, thats way too easy. People go without eating meat all the time, even dinosaurs probably. And thats true, I can even admit to not consuming meat for a 24 hour period at least a couple times in the past(usually when I'm working at my dish washing job, their food just isn't worth it anymore). Thats why this challenge is going to be in effect for the remainder of the week. 7 days of resisting anything from prime rib to road kill. Now that sounds like a challenge worth doing, and don't worry, I'll still be doing new things every day as well as attempting this longer term project. We are witnessing history in the making people. This is the first time since the start of this project that one of the challenges required anything more than a 24 hour attention span. That means that this may be a week long endeavor, but it only counts as one day's challenge. I made it through today pretty well. I just had some cereal, potatoes and a bean and cheese burrito. Lets hope that the next 6 days go as smooth.
Today marks the end of the first month of my lil' experiment. 31 days of new experiences, tasks, goals, sights and situations. I've seen some really interesting sights. I remember road tripping to Wyoming to high five the state's welcome sign, and I remember throwing up all night after failing at both the slice of bread and the saltine challenges. My inner elbow area is still sore from donating blood, and my right thigh has the faint ghostly image of what was supposed to be my first "stick n' poke" tattoo. I've defiantly learned a lot about the basics of cooking, and relearned that peeps really suck (a lot). Its been a good month, a fresh, spontaneous month. Lets see how far this project will go.
I wanted to end this month off with a bang. Something that would make me proud, or, at the very least, remember tonights new thing. I wanted to get a piercing, but not an ear piercing. I don't have too much of a desire to pierce my ears (or nose or eyebrow or lip or whatever else is "in"). I wanted to get my hand pierced. My left hand, on the webbing between the thumb and pointer finger to be exact. Credit for the idea for this goal goes to a dude by the name of Zach Flesher. I saw him give himself that piercing a couple years ago in the cafeteria at school. He sat there on a picnic style table, so painfully determined to impale his hand with a suspect looking needle. My friends and I all watched as he persistently dug into the webbing of his left hand with what must have been a rounded tip needle. After a while, the needle burrowed through the skin and through the other side of his hand. He succeeded in his attempt to mutilate, and that has inspired me ever since. My attempt at piercing was much more short lived. I called a local tattoo shop to ask about the pricing and process of the ordeal. The man on the other end cut me off mid sentence and said "We don't do any kind of piercings other than ear, lip, nose and eyebrow. People don't know how to keep it clean and the next thing ya know, ya got a fungus hand". So that was a bummer, but understandable. Getting stabbed by metal wasn't an option, so I did the next best thing, I made cookies. I made cookies, but not just any cookies. My late (and very great) grandmothers Jumbilee Jumbles cookies. They are theses delicious treats that my grandmother would make every year around Christmas. She would make a whole tub for my sister, brother and I, and then she would give my dad his own tub filled with sugary goodness. They were awesome and I loved them. I loved them half as much as I loved my grandma, which is a heapload of love.
I picked up the ingredients and tossed "this n' that" together. Then I stirred a couple cups of "whatever" into a bowl and added some milk and vanilla. I may have done a couple of food/meal preparing challenges this month, but I was still really nervous with the whole measuring and technical things. I had the batter chill in the fridge for a while and then I started on the burnt butter glaze. It was mostly butter and sugar, which is awesome. Some more boring/tasty steps followed and eventually, I had some cookies. They were warm and delicious. Not nearly as good as grandma's version, but still good. I really liked this challenge cause I love cookies and grandma. Heres to another month of new thangs ya'll.
Good news! Remember that time I tried the salt water cleanse? And remember how I was all bummed out cause it didn't work at all (It was supposed to cleanse me out)? Well, I'm happy to say that I have discovered a formula that cleansed me out ten times as much as that stupid salt water. Behold, a modest gallon of lukewarm water, the secret to instant diarrhea! The challenge today was what is called the gallon challenge; its simple, just drink a gallon of water in one hour. I think that your supposed to drink milk, but we didn't want to test our luck and I like the taste of milk to much and I would hate for this challenge to ruin that for me. So we went with water. I thought that this was going to be another lame challenge...I was wrong. It was Jarred (a kid from work) and I that decided to try it. We both got a gallon of drinking water from the store, wrote our names on our jugs, set the stop watch for one hour, and cheered to each other before setting off on our thirst quenching journey. We both started off very well. I made sure not to burn myself out in the beginning but I felt satisfied with my progress within my first 10 or so gulps. We marked our progress every ten minutes with a sharpie. I was trailing Jarred by like an inch according to the markers, which meant I had a lot of catching up to do if I wanted to win. We marked the 30 minute mark with a red sharpie and thats about when I started to get nervous, and bloated. I was just barely under the half way mark then, and my whole body started to hurt. I had no idea how painful this challenge would be. My head started to pulsate, my stomach felt like it had reached it's stretching point, and I felt like sitting on the toilet was the only thing on my mind. We had about 15 minutes left when Jarred finished his jug and headed towards the bathroom to relieve himself. I still had about 1/8th to go and I felt like throwing up was quickly becoming more of a probability. I honestly didn't think that I would make it. But thats when I realized that I cant recall a single time where I have successfully completed a food related challenge for this project. I've failed them all so far. Thats when I decided that I would not fail this one. I wanted at least one victory. So, I nutted up, and I shutted up, and I chugged as much unwanted water as I could muster. The chugging didn't last long but, without hesitation, I went right back to my beverage. Soon enough, my bottle was empty, my stomach had surpassed its capacity, and I felt oddly terrible and accomplished at the same time. I did it, I won. Well, for the time being I guess. Since then its been about 6 hours, and I have endured a pretty bad case of diarrhea, 7 separate trips to the restroom to pee, a mild head ache, and me feeling all around like shit. It kind of sucked, but at least I won this challenge, and I cleansed myself out finally.
