Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 86: Learn How To Roll A Cigarette

     I don't smoke. I just want to start this entry by stating that and getting it out of the way. I've never gotten the appeal of smoking. So many of my friends have, but I've gone happily sucking oxygen by my lonesome. I was with Mouse, back at Mac's apartment, admiring his new tattoo. Again, it was late. And again, I had yet to complete my project. I still had homework and I really should have been at home doing it but I had to get my new thing in. I thought to myself "What better way to end spring break then with a really terrible decision!?". Thus, the roll-your-own-cigarette-idea-was-born. We headed out to acquire the necessary supplies to get this challenge done. Because neither I nor Mouse or Mac smoke, we had to pick up all the supplies. I learned a couple things about smoking that night. Most of all I learned that I know absolutely nothing about smoking. We walked into a Walgreens and I asked the lady at checkout if I could buy "those sheet thingys that you use to smoke out of". She gave me a puzzled look and asked "Papers?". "Yes!" I said excitedly. She informed me that they don't sell those, but I could probably find them at a 7-eleven. So we rushed over there and I told the large tattooed man behind the counter what the Walgreens lady told me. He grabbed me a pack of papers. I asked him what I need to buy to put in the papers so I could roll a cigarette. He said that they only have chewing tobacco and that I shouldn't use that. I'm still not sure why I shouldn't use it (I mean, other than tobacco being totally nasty and terrible for you), but I chose not to try it. The tattooed attendant told me that Walmart has what I'm looking for. He said to go there and ask for some "Blue Boy". So, off we went again. We arrived at the superstore and walked straight to the tobacco sales station. The lady and I said hi, and I asked "BLUE BOY?". It was clear that she had no idea what I was talking about because she replied "Sorry, he just left with pink girl". After some back story explanation, she said that she had never heard of Blue Boy. She directed me to a blue package of smoking tobacco that said Bugler on it. We got it and got the hell out of there. Back at Mac's house, we failed time and time again at rolling the papers. The project kind of sucked, and it only got worse once we successfully rolled a couple cigarettes. Together we made like 7 stoogies and took them onto the back porch to try them out. They were terrible, they sucked so bad and I smelled afterwards. To recap, I drove to 4 convience stores, to spend too much money on something that isn't good for me, is super hard to roll, makes me smell terribly, and forces me to put off doing my homework even more then I already had. Yeah, that sucked.


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