Day 357: Energy Sheets

Vanna White

     Isn't that like, the most convincing commercial you've ever seen? Dontcha just want to take a sheet all over the place now? Stefanie introduced me to these little guys and to the sheet-load of possibilities that they possess. We bought them and found ourselves taking sheets in the most peculiar settings. I can't say much for how well the energy sheets worked, but it was a lot of fun making sheet-puns. They tasted like sheet, and I still felt tired afterwards, and they aren't approved by the FDA, but there's just something special about being able to say that you've taken a sheet in the Walmart parking lot. Fun times indeed!

Day 281: Try Energy Crystals

     Every time I think I've tried every energy enhancing scam out there, I find a new one. If anyone remembers, I ordered these energy crystals way back when for my 'buy something from an infomercial' challenge from day 236. According to my terrible math, it took 45 days for these bad boys to reach me. It was so long in fact that I had forgotten about the whole ordeal all together. But I'm not here to complain about the speed at which the As Seen on TV guy ship their crap, I'm here to complain about how crappy their crap is. My crystals finally arrived and I was totally disappointed to find out that they were not crystals at all. I realize that I would have known that these weren't the kind of crystals I had in mind if I actually read the description on the website, but that doesn't change the fact that I was bummed out. This was just a couple packets of dissolvable mix that your combine with water to make an energy drink. I was thinking that I was buying a giant crystal that granted me energy by rubbing it on my forehead and stuff, guess that was my fault. So I mixed the powder and drank the foggy looking drink and obtained literally no extra energy. I didn't feel anymore awake or responsive than I did before. Buying these stupid things were definitely a huge waste of time and a small waste of money. Damn.