The night was getting late, and- as I so often do- I found myself sniffing through the isles of a grocery store determined to find something new and novel. I checked the usual hot spots that I knew of, the super organic hippie section is one of my faves. But to my surprise, I had already tried just about everything they had to offer. Devastating news to receive at 10:00 at night. I kept hunting till I found something that would work. Lactose-free cheese. The name was a complete turn off, but (being a vegetarian for almost three years and exposing myself to my fair share of gross meat alternatives) I decided to give it a try anyways. I bought it and returned home to make a sandwich with the cheese before bed. A snack and a challenge completed sounds good to me.
Unfortunately, I knew that I was going to hate this even before I bit into the cheese. The smell that it gave off as I opened the single slice was ungodly. A repulsive mixture of actually fart and what I can only assume to be year old cheese hit my senses. It smelled so bad, like a lactose-intolerant mummy just farted or something. Anyways, I tried not to let the smell discourage me and I took a bite. Awful, just so bad. It tasted so bad that I can't even come up with a witty way to tell you how bad it was. It just sucked. I took one last bite for good measure, but that was another mistake, then I threw away the rest of it cause it was so gross. Never again impostor
cheese, never again.
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