Day 96: Yoga

     It was my yoga day for the P90X exercise thang today. I woke up at 6 A.M. and headed to the basement to get all lose and limber for the day. I was really sore already from the past couple workouts and all that biking I've been doing ever since I stopped driving. I mimicked the little man on the T.V. screen as he stretched and exhaled rhythmically. It was really boring and I had trouble staying in some of the posses. Basically, the guy would alternate from the "downward dog", "warrior 1" and "warrior 2". It was just a cycle of repetition. He just kept doing those same couple of positions for so long. I kept with it for as long as I could, but eventually, I had to give up. I ended up completing about 40 minutes of the program, which was about half of the total time. I tried to stay focused and calm, but is was just not interesting enough. I felt good knowing I had taken care of my challenge so early in the day. The rest of the day sucked, a whole mess of homework and tests and work at the ice cream shack. But at least I had that yoga session inn to keep my mind, body and soul in balance. So much for this new age meditating malarkey.

Day 95: Mexican Coka Cola

     Cool things were supposed to happen today, really, I had it all planned out. Mac and I were going to take on the bike to Boulder challenge. I had everything packed and was totally ready to get some serious bike on. We set off on our journey but it soon became apparent that the wind was way too gnarly to bike in. We were fighting with the wind head on and losing. We struggled through the first mile and decided to call it quits. The wind was just too much to take. Thats when we chose the obvious option and acquire a couple of kites to fly. I wasn't about to count kite flying, we were just bored and wanted to take advantage of the wind. That whole kite flying thing didn't last long and was about as much fun as I remembered it (not very). We biked around and goofed off for the rest of the day. I biked home, disappointed that I hadn't completed my challenge. My dad was talking on the phone and pointed towards the kitchen where a plate of some delicious dinner was waiting for me. He signaled towards a glass bottle of Coke and said it was a Mexican Coke Bottle. There it was, my challenge, its not that cool, but its something. I had always heard that the Cokes from anywhere else in the world have a different formula than the ones in the U.S. I opened it and sipped at it casually as I ate my dinner. It was good, about as good as a normal Coke. I remember that the taste was a little funky and the aftertaste didn't seem as sweet, but I don't drink very much soda to begin with so I probably don't know what I'm talking about. I admit, this challenge is totally lame, but my plans for an awesome new thing caved in so this had to do. Pfft whatever.

Day 94: P90X Workout Program

       Yes, thats right, I'm on the program. You might say, hey, that kind of sounds like Day 65: Plymotrics (http://aimforeclouds.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-65-p90x-plyometrics.html). And I'd say, yeah it kind of does, doesn't it. See, that challenge from early March has inspired me to take on the entire program. That challenge was to complete "The mother of all workouts" -that guy in the video. This Challenge to complete the entire program. 12 exercises, 90 days. Today was upper body and back, one of my weaknesses (I don't think I have very many strengths). It was a whole bunch of push ups and pull ups. I definitely have some ground to cover if I want to complete this challenge. The same rules apply as the be a vegetarian for a week challenge (day 32 http://aimforeclouds.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-32-vegetarian.html), which means, this challenge may take more than one day to complete, but it only counts as one day. Hopefully I'll stick with the challenge so I can post updates about how much I suck at working out, but I wont count my workouts as challenges. Well, thats not entirely true. I was thumbing through the workout DVDs and saw that yoga was one of the workouts. I'll probably count yoga as a challenge cause I've never done that. So thats it. 90 days of me sweating and doing butt-in-the-air push ups. Radical.

The workout station

Day 93: Atomic Hot Wing Challenge

     Its the return of the food challenges. Hot wings are a favorite among competitive eaters and I thought that it was as good a time as any for me to test the waters of uber-spicy finger food. I figured that spicy food was the way to go on such a cold, snowy day. Today was bitter and cold, a dark contrast from yesterday's picture perfect, 80 degree-skating-in-just-shorts-cause-its-sooooooo-summer-like-outside weather. I got sunburned yesterday, and I wore a thermal, two hoodies and a jacket today. I'm not exaggerating, there is no stretching of the truth of hyperbole usage here. This is Colorado, and the weather is consistently this inconsistent. So anyways, I was at work and it was real slow cause nobody wants to buy ice cream when nature is generously throwing water flavored ice cream down from the heavens for free. Kevin and I bought the 10 piece combo deal from this place called Wingstop. I got 10 wings (5 Hawaiian, 5 atomic), some fries, a drink, and some free veggie sticks cause they screwed up my order twice. The Hawaiian ones were good, very tangy, the atomic ones... weren't so good. See that was the challenge, eat the hottest wings I could find. We called Wingstop and they told us that the atomics were what I was looking for. I'm not that into spicy food, I like a little heat, but I'm not yearnin' for a burnin'. It wasn't till after my 2nd atomic that I realized how much I wasn't into spicy food. I was sweating profusely and the top of my skull was super itchy. I alternated between wing flavors to rest my scorched tongue. I relied on the reservoir of iced tea and complementary veggie sticks to keep me from throwing in the towel. Things weren't looking good, my face was red and sweaty, my nose was running, and my hands were covered in hot sauce. I was a mess. Even though I wasn't looking too good, I did it. I finished the atomic wing challenge, and I had two celery sticks to spare (the iced tea wasn't so lucky). I stood in the walk-in freezer for a hot second to cool down and chugged a glass of water. I thought that the worst was behind me, I thought that I had came out on top, I was wrong. I cleaned up and prepared to get back to work. I threw my trash away and wiped my hands off. I went to the bathroom to take a leak, washed my hands and returned to work. It was when I was in the middle of making a guest's banana split that I realized a burning sensation coming from my... ummm,... penis. Yeah, sigh...yup. You may laugh now but trust me, it sucks tending to a crowd of hungry fat people with a fiery crotch. The burning feeling intensified as I served more customers. It kept sucking more and more. It wasn't a huge wave of customers, just a rush of indecisive ones. So I stood there, handing out samples and scooping flavors as a fire seemed to rage in my pants. Soon, but not soon enough, the crowd ordered and payed and was gone. I was free to... you know, remedy the situation. Lets just say that I put out the fire and things got better. I texted Mouse about the situation (cause of coarse its relevant to his life) and he said that its called a "hot rod" (which I find both hilarious and very fitting. He said that it happened to him after eating jalapeños and he said that he felt my pain. I had no idea that hot rods were even a thing. I knew that they were hot, but not in the sense that they burn you. So, besides the below-the-belt-inferno, I think that I came out of that challenge a victor. Aw yea!

Day 92: Take Energy Pills

     If your a follower of this blog, you may know that my first dance with an energy drink took place earlier in the project (Day 30: Liquid Energy http://aimforeclouds.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-30-liquid-energy.html). That was my first, and since then, only energy promising substance. So yesterday was a jammed pack day of beautiful weather and fun outdoor activities. I spent almost every waking moment yesterday cruising around on my bike or on my skateboard. I was running around and sweating and laughing and playing all day long. I think that yesterdays athletic activities called for a bit of energizing assistance. Thats why I purchased a packet of energy pills at the gas station. The only problem was, I bought them after the day's activities were over. We were done skating and biking and it was about 11:30 at night and we were dropping my friend Kevin off at his house. We were all exhausted from running around all day and I was in no mood to get energized any time soon, but I hadn't done my new-thing-of-the-day (NTD) yet. So, knowing full well that my body was extremely sore and it would hate me for eating these hyper pills, I decided to go for it. I knew that it couldn't end well, but I also knew that I hadn't come 91 days to simply give up on the project. The project had to go on, even if that meant that I wouldn't get any sleep. I figured that the best case scenario would be that I ate the pills, threw up, and then I would have an interesting blog entry to post. Thats what this project has done to me! I now look at things like throwing up and bleeding as "good for the blog". I'd rather puke than have a boring night in. Needless to say, I didn't puke. I ate the pills and watched a little bit of T.V. at Kevin's. I was feeling a little strange and didn't and couldn't focus, but what else is new. I definitely did not feel energized, just a tiny bit dizzy and out of it. I got home and laid down and fell asleep almost instantly. It's hard to tell whether or not the pills even did anything, cause I get the feeling that being that exhaustion would make me feel like that regardless. In a nutshell, the pills didn't make me throw up, which is good and bad.

Day 91: I Own The Moon!

     You read right (well, unless you didn't), I own the moon. Not just any moon, I own IO, the innermost lunar object within the gravitational pull of the planet Jupiter. Everything that is detectable (light, heat, sound etc.) is now my property. This may sound a little absurd, and kind of stupid (which I admit, it totally is), but its inspired by a real guy who really did this. A man by the name of Dennis Hope claimed ownership of the moon some 20 years ago, and has been making a more-than-comfortable living by selling his lunar-land. He is in no way affiliated with the moon, he has never visited there, he has never sent any sort of probe, he doesn't even study the thing. He just sells the moon. Watch this quick clip and you tell me how idiotic it is. This guy just says that he owns the moon, and people throw wads of cash at him! Its the oldest trick in the book, a classic scam on a cosmic level. Its disgustingly inspiring. 

     Thats why I decided, if ya cant beat um, join um. as of April 1st, 2011, I, Kyle Garlock, am now the proud owner of a mint condition galactic satellite. I have signed documentation and everything. I have just as, if not more credibility than that Dennis Hope schmuck (remember when I checked out that outer-space book from the library on day 68?). All that guy has is a couple of stupid business cards (and so do I, day 81) and a document that he wrote saying that he owns the moon (day 91). So, that being said, anyone wanna buy some of my moon? Actually, in my document of ownership, I clearly state that the extraterrestrial land base is to be used for the sole purpose of education. Any and all attempts to further ones financial, political, religious, independent or corporate gains are strictly forbidden and shall be prosecuted. I figured for April fools day I would do the most preposterous challenge I could think of, and this was it. I own the moon!

Day 90: Learn How To Make Salsa

     3 months today. The project is officially 25% (1/4 if you prefer fractions) completed as of today. I wanted to do a memorable challenge for the special occasion. I wanted to eat brain. Cow brain specifically, from Walmart. I heard that they had it, so I biked over there with Mac after work to pick up a frontal lobe or something. We combed through the isles of the mega-plex-super-warehouse, with not even a cerebellum to be found. So we went with the next best thing, salsa. Salsa is definitely a dish that I have more experience with than brain, and I was pretty sure Walmart would carry it. I love salsa and its pathetic that I've never made it. Mac instructed me as I picked up the main ingredients; tomatoes, onion, garlic, cilantro, jalapeño, green peppers, and some stuff called cumin. We jetted off towards his house, where I learned that cutting tomatoes is about as much fun as jazz class. Making salsa is basically; repetitive chopping of the ingredients and watering of the eyes. I chopped everything up and dumped it into the salsa bowl, establishing that it was, in fact, salsa. We dove right into the dish with chips and came up with the conclusion, that it was really tasty. I took some home so it could sit in the fridge and marinate. It was a good challenge, not as memorable as eating brain, but probably better in taste.