Day 224: Veggie Energy

     This is one of those novelty looking things you find in the impulse section of most gas stations, which is precisely where I found it. It is a shot of liquid energy that promises to energize with nothing but fruits, veggies and tea extract. The bottle was the same price as a 5 hour energy but it left out all that self guilt that comes with those extreme energy shots. I tried a sample before dumping the contents into my gator-aid (cause I had some serious business to take care of). It tasted like the familiar flavor of V8 veggies, but there was a very mild aftertaste that I assumed to be the pure energy that I was craving so badly. I felt good knowing I chose the same brand (V8) that my grandparents get (cause they surely know whats good for them by now). And it even seemed to boost my energy for the skate session. I only say that because I was eating shit a lot more than I normally due, and I hope it was all of that natural caffeine doing that to me. Long story short, the veggie shot is a healthier way to eat shit when you skate?

Day 223: Hardcore Show

   


















Tonight I reinforced my longstanding opinion on hardcore shows and the music that is played during them. I had never been to nor had I ever planned on attending a hardcore show. The reason I made the exception tonight (other than the fact that I am smack dab in the middle of a project that tends to get me into peculiar situations) was because my sister Sarah was in town and that would be one of the only times I'd be able to spend some quality time with her. So I accompanied her downtown to a show where they play music I don't like, from some bands I've never heard of, with lyrics I can't understand. I'm not intentionally ragging on hardcore music, just calling them like I see them. If your into this genre, that's fine, that's your thing. I had it coming the moment I decided to go. I've heard the music and I've seen the dancing (if you haven't I suggest YouTubing it. Classic), I knew what I was getting into. In a nutshell I paid 10 bucks to endure the loudest, most inaudible musical shit-fest of my life. I felt like I was the only kid there was wasn't wearing the standard issued uniform: Worn-down Vans, cut-off shorts, a black tank top with bold lettering plastered on it, gauges, and a backwards baseball cap. I guess I can't complain too much, after all, I wasn't the one who got knocked dead in the kisser from the flying fist of a rowdy mosher in the crowd. That lucky lady, was my sister. She was sideswiped by this asshole as he paraded around looking like a scrawning orangutan. In hindsight, its kind of funny, but when it happened, I was pretty damn pissed. She got shinny purple bruise under her eye and the orangutan got his ass beat by a small mob of logical thinkers. Sarah washed the blood off in the bathroom and made it back to enjoy a couple more songs (I'm pretty sure they were songs). By then I was about ready to leave, luckily (due to a certain punch to the face) my sister was ready to go too.

I'm hardcore bro

Day 222: Finger Prints

     I had to go get my fingerprints taken for my new job. It all took place at some old lady's house on the very edge of town. She charged an even 10 dollars for the trouble and did the entire process in her kitchen in about 5 minutes. She never properly introduced herself, which made it awkward when I tried to do so myself. She silently took my right hand and carefully inked the tips of my fingers. Then, she systematically went pressed each finger onto its designated square on my fingerprint card. The dance was continued with my left hand until every square was occupied with a smudge ink that was solely my own. I washed up with some heavy duty soap, gave her a ten dollar bill, and was on my way. Not the most exciting challenge yet, but not too shabby ether.

Day 221: Signature

     I have an ugly signature. Not only that, I have a very inconsistent one to boot. See, I've just landed a new job (that one that I had the interview practice from day 207) and I've been spending a whole lotta time writing and rewriting my 'signature' on the bottom lines of various documents and tax forms. Its become all too obvious that my signature is really unappealing, so I spent a solid half hour working on, and hopefully improving the prettiness of my pen-ship. I ended up with this rigid looking sketch of my initials, K and G. Its alright I guess, but I'm not sure if I'll be making this my signature. Come to think of it, squiggles would work fine too.

Day 220: Hemp Ice Cream

     This is something that you could only find in a place like Boulder, Colorado. I found it in the ice cream isle of a Whole Foods and instantly knew that I had stumbled onto a potential 'new thing'. From the first bite I got an overwhelming sense that I was eating frozen dirt. If I didn't open the packaging myself, I would have been like 85% sure that I was munching on nothing more than dirty ice (and that's coming from a kid that used to eat sand on the daily). It wasn't that good, and it was about $4 dollars too expensive, but it was soooo Boulder. I guess that ol' 'you get what you pay for' phrase doesn't ring as true when your talking about the great taste of hemp.

Day 219: Liquid Eggs

     As if that damn ex-lax didn't do enough damage the night before, I decided that trying liquid eggs was a good idea. They come in a tall yellow carton they totally gross me out. Its just something about the fact that its a container of 8 or so unfertilized chick fetuses all mashed together that makes me lose my apatite. But I bought the carton anyway, and I even took it home and cooked it up. I made a batch of cheesy scrambled eggs, because it was obvious that sunny side up wasn't an option. They weren't bad, and I mean that. The meal tasted good and I didn't feel sick or anything afterwards, but I just felt weird eating it. I think I'm just going to stick with the old fashioned eggs for now.

Day 218: Ex-lax

Gooooooood Times

     Welp, I had a good run. I made it as long as I could without resorting to a challenge as demeaning as ex-lax, and for a second, I thought I was going to be able to avoid it completely. Unfortunately, my dreams of being laxative-free came to an end on day 218. The silver lining in this story is this; if I was going to force myself to eat ex-lax, this was the day to do it. I don't want to go into detail about my bowels, I'll just let you use your imaginations. So my backed up intestines and I made our way to the store to pick up a bar of chocolate ex-lax. It was cheap, and for the most part, tasted just like chocolate. That worried me because people tend to overindulge in chocolate, and it seems like consuming the same amount of laxative would be a whole lot of bad news. If I made flavored laxatives, I make them taste like kitty litter to prevent anyone from developing an unhealthy dependency on my product (I've heard about these ex-lax junkies on TV before). So yeah, I ate the recommended amount of ex-lax and I made sure that I was within a quick sprint of a bathroom for the rest of the night. I'll let you know that the chocolate ex-lax worked...3 times that night.