Ending Chapters-part 2

   

     It is my distinct pleasure to report to you (from the comfort and safety of the ground) that my skydiving challenge was total success. Sarah and I made the mistake of watching YouTube videos of skydivers last night, which made for a quite car ride to the hanger. But weirdly enough, all of my anxiety and worries seemed to abandon me as soon as we reached the offices and began signing our lives away with the scratch of a pen. Even when we were suiting up in our purple sky-soaring outfits, Sarah and I were joking around as if we weren't about to fall 12,500 feet within the next half hour. I'm not sure if it was the adrenaline, but loading into that rickety tin-can of an airplane, was a completely different experience to watching the skydive videos the night before. When we we're watching the footage, my hands were sweaty and my heart was racing, but today, I felt calm, I felt fine. I was so calm that I even remember pointing out a house as we flew overhead that had been painted a disgusting shade of orange.

     Mentally, the plane ride was a lot easier than worried it'd be, but physically...it was a different story. The ride up to the jump off point will probably get nominated for the "most uncomfortable situation I've ever found myself in" award. We all faced the back of the plane as we sat in the harnessed laps of our instructors. The plane's engine sounded about as feral as my moped, and the wind outside couldn't disguise all the disheartening noises that the decrepit aircraft made. And worst of all, my harness seemed to be holding a cruel grudge towards my crotch.

     But soon enough, we made it to our elevation and shit started to get real. The door, which must've been 4 feet tall, was raised, and a light accompanied by a buzzer alerted us that it was time to abandon ship. Slowly and awkwardly, each pair of students and instructors made their way to the opening. My instructor and I were to jump last, so we watched as each hesitant jumper finally made it to the plank, and finally took the plunge. One by one, the plane emptied of the unstable thrill-seekers that were just sitting next to me. It was just me, my instructor, and a pilot in basketball shorts left. I was nudged by my instructor towards the door where my sister had just stood and told to "hang on". 

     And then something amazing happened. I remember seeing my feet and the Earth below me as the frigid air whipped past. I saw the mountains from above, and as we tipped further forward than I'd ever feel comfortable with, I saw the foothills; vague green and yellowish-brown patches stretching towards every horizon. The lakes and reservoirs were tiny blue blotches. I was wide-eyed and speechless as we fell from the plane. It was loud, and it was cold, and it was over way too soon. As I fell helplessly through the atmosphere with nothing but fabric to save me, I tried to take as many mental images as possible. I wanted this experience to be preserved in my mind for the rest of my life (which felt about a minute away at the time). My mouth was completely dry and my lungs struggled to breath in the harsh wind, but I didn't care. I had done it, I had taken the jump, and I had completed my project.

     And as the ground came into focus again, the parachute was pulled and we glided back towards the airport (but not after some sweet parachute whips and spins...and even more punishment to my balls). Landing was smooth and Sarah and I celebrated our survival with some chipotle. 

     So was the project a success? I'd say totally. If this project hadn't taken over my life for the entirety of 2011, I'd be a very different Kyle today. I'd still be a part time dishwasher with a "to-do" list as opposed to a "done" list. I wouldn't have found myself in many of the often strange but always fascinating situations that made this last year so memorable. And I certainly would not have jumped out of an airplane. 

     Thank you, and if you'd like to check out whatever I'm up to lately, you can click here. Thanks!

Ending Chapters

     Months have passed since my last post, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd ever update this blog again. Once the project, and all the momentum that it carried, had finally died down, I quickly found myself falling back into the daily routine that had grooved my agenda for so long. Late night charades of ill-advised challenges no longer hung in the back of my mind. I was free to accept or decline any opportunity. The problem was, I've become increasingly more afraid of becoming the sheltered hermit of a person that I used to be. Was I slowly reaching for my old shut-in habits? Was I destined to live a life of monotonous wasted time? I didn't want my year-long experiment to be all for naught.
     Luckily, I received a text message from my sister a couple days ago that would help me answer these burning questions. She told me that she'd be in town later this week and was wondering if I was still up to go skydiving with her. I had promised her that I was all for skydiving way back when (back when the thought was just being conceived, and there was no airplanes in sight) and it wasn't till my phone buzzed with her invitation that the threat of a catastrophic mid-air scenario started to play in my mind.
     I'll admit it, I never thought I'd be the kind of guy to willingly jump out of the sky, but if I recall correctly, that's what this whole project was about. It was about forcing opportunities upon myself and opening up to what's around. So I figure, this skydiving outing is the perfect setting to test how effective my project was. I want to see if I've conditioned myself to try new things enough to try something as niche and risky as skydiving. I want to prove to myself that the project wasn't a waste, that I've learned and grown and become a better person because of it. And that I'm the the "life-enthusiast" that I so often praise myself as.
     I ironed out the details earlier this morning, and it's official; we're on the first jump tomorrow morning. How bout one more "new thing" challenge, for old time sake. It's about time I see if the experiment is the soaring success I claim it was. Let's do this shit.

Day 366: Polar Bear Plunge

     So the project is officially and successfully over. I'd like to thank everyone who partook in any way. Whether you kept up with the blog, or helped to spread the word about the project, or even helped me with a challenge or two, I really appreciate it. It's been a lot of fun...for the most part, and I'm actually sad it's over. But then again, it's never really over. The only thing that's ending is the structure. I am now free to try new things simply because I enjoy trying new things, not because of a project or a blog. I've conditioned myself to actively seek out new experiences this past year, and this new habit seems to be sticking quite well.

Trying to warm back up

     To prove it, today I joined the Polar Bear Club. It's an annual event that takes place on the first of the year. It's a fundraising event where participants strip down to their bathing suits (maybe a speedo or two) and take a plunge into the freezing cold river in Golden, Colorado. I think it's supposed to welcome the new year and give you a fresh (and arctic) start, but really who knows? Some people watch, others take the dip, but everyone's there to support a cause (unfortunately, I have no idea what the cause is). So my sister, mother, and I joined the group of eager and inebriated polar bears by the river this morning. We were armed with nothing but a couple towels and generous amounts of beer. And after the thank you speech was given, we all ran towards the icy river and jumped in. To say that it was beyond freezing would be an understatement. This water was cold, like, body paralyzing, and lung crippling cold. My body wasn't functioning very effectively, but eventually I completely submersed myself and completed the challenge. It was a memorable end to the project, and a refreshing start to whatever comes next. I really doubt that I'd ever try anything like the Polar Bear Club (or really, most of my previous challenges for that matter) if it weren't for this project. It's gotten me to finally leave my comfort zone and throw caution to the wind. I hope it doesn't sound corny when I say this, but I'm really grateful for the project. I've met new people, reconnected with old friends, traveled to strange places, tasted exotic foods, and over all gotten cultured about the sights, sounds, and opportunities in life. Thanks again, for helping make 2011 totally rad. And for any of you that aren't completely sick of me yet, I've started a new blog that should hold you over for a little while. Thanks.

Day 365: Pierce My Ear

Not too siked

     Nobody is more bummed out about this challenge than I am. I've never been a fan of dudes with earrings, they're just not my cup of tea. I did an impressive job of resisting the urge to get a piercing for the project, but I guess that now's as good a time as any to finally go through with it. It's my last challenge, why not make it permanent?
     Stefanie was to do the piercing honors, but once she had the gloves on, and the gun in hand, I think she felt more apprehensive than honored. She kept saying that she was gonna mess up and leave me paralyzed, but in time, she came around and (after one failed attempt) got the earring through. It was over in an instant, I now had a pierced ear. It felt like a pinch...and I didn't go all paralyzed and whatnot. So yeah, I've got a metal rod sticking out of my lobe, and it appears to be stuck there for the time being. Pretty cool I guess. I'm not thrilled on it being there, but at least I made my last challenge a memorable one.

Add caption

Day 364: Learn How To Shuffle Cards

Gnar card

     I had no idea how bad at shuffling cards I was until I found myself in a heated card game with my family. How can you expect to have any card-carrying-confidence when you're constantly fumbling when you shuffle? I decided to take on the task of learning the ways of the shuffle, which proved to be easier said than done. I must have spent forty minutes trying to scramble the deck like a pro. My grandpa gave me a thorough lesson, but it wasn't much help. My shuffle had improved slightly, but it was still suffering. I'd get lucky every so often and have an impressive shuffle, and then completely embarrass myself on the next go. My technique seems so mechanical compared to my grandpa's seasoned approach, but don't worry, I got myself a deck of cards for this very occasion. I'm gonna master the art of card scrambling.

Day 363: Investigate A Conspiracy

     I don't suppose that many of you have heard of a man by the name of William Tapley. He's some old kook that claims that he has unraveled the secret of the conspiracy that has plagued the Denver International Airport (DIA) in recent years. He says that phallic images are hidden throughout the airport and that they are sure fire signs of the end times. He believes that our leaders are trying to get on Satan's good side by covering the airport with suggestive symbols. You'd have to be hopped up on goofballs to believe any of this garbage. The amount of crazy that this guy was spewing out of his face-hole was insane, but Mouse and I decided to go with it anyway. We wanted to snoop around the airport and see if we could find proof of the Satan-worshiping-wiener-dissemblers (never thought I'd say that).

     We were greeted by Mr. Tapley's most convincing evidence of a satanic conspiracy at the entrance of the airport, the giant blue devil horse. At 32 feet tall, and 9,000-pounds, this hellish fiberglass statue is one of the freakiest works known to man. It's seriously evil. His burning red eyes and hellish demeanor just freak me out. Not to mention, the artist of the Hell-horse was crushed and killed by a chunk of the cursed art while he was working on it. Everything about this thing screams Satan! So we carried on...

If you squint reeeeeeeally hard...

     Once we got inside, we began scouring the grounds for anything phallic. We looked at some rather disturbing paintings and support beams, but we really had to let our imaginations run wild to find anything that even remotely looked like something phallic. Personally, I just think that this William Tapley guy has his mind in the gutter. We tried, we really did. We spent a good hour in that airport looking for suggestive shapes, but I guess our gay-day just isn't as precise as Mr. Tapley's. Here's what some of the pieces of art that we dug up, see if you can find something phallic or Satanic.

Odd stuff

Need I say more?

Day 362: Drive Down The "Wildest Street In America"

     According to Mouse; Colfax Avenue is the longest straight road in America. And according to the Playboy Magazine quote from Colfax's Wikipedia page; Colfax is "the longest, wickedest street in America." Apparently there was a whole other side to Colfax, one I'd yet to see. So Mouse and I decided to experience the entirety of the "wickedest" street in America. We would cruise down the 26.1 mile long street and see just what all the fuss was about. We started at the West end (Heritage Rd) and ended our trek at the East end (Gun Club Rd). It was a solid hour or so of cruising the street, and it was actually funner than I thought it would be. We stocked up on potato chips and acted like tourists in a city we've always known as we saw the sights of Denver. We saw the glorious Casa Bonita, and we passed the Occupy Denver protesters at Civic Center. It wasn't the "wickedest" time of my life, but it was still pretty fun. Here's a short time lapse of the journey.

Day 361: Graffiti

Mug shot

     Ok, before you start freaking out about how I lost my morals and whatnot, I should let you know that my graffiti experience was totally legal. See, there's this wall in Boulder, that has been designated as the town's tagging wall. Graffiti artists (and Mouse and I) can go there and doodle to their hearts content, and not get in trouble. We got to the wall right as the sun was going down, which was good cause it made the experience that more authentic. I tried my best to find an area on the wall that wasn't already claimed by somebody's illegible work, and started working on my masterpiece. I was going for an abstract "medeyum" down the side of the wall to advertise the blog (welcome new readers!). Sadly, it became obvious almost instantly that my art was going to turn out like poop. I could try to blame it on the cheap spray paint or the lack of inspiration, but the truth is, I just suck at graffiting. I have no experience with tagging, and I don't even have an interest in it. Here is my one stab at it, and I don't see myself doing it anytime soon. For now, I'll just stick to doodling on paper.

Day 360: Juggle Fire!

     If you've been following this shit-show of a project for a while, you may remember a previous challenge I did called mildly high risk juggling. It was back in the early days of the project and I have since then decided to up the stakes a little bit and try some very high risk juggling. That's right, we're talking about playing with fire. It's a testament to both my stupidity, and my dedication to the project. There's no way that I'd ever try this if it weren't for this little experience experiment. It constantly reminds me that "Just because it's a terrible idea, doesn't mean you shouldn't try it" and I'm thankful for those idiotic stunts I've forced myself to do this year. It's one of my first life lessons and it's exactly what this project needed.

     Mouse and I cut three strips of cloth from a cotton T-shirt I had and tied them up in little balls. Then we soaked each one in butane and lit them and they became terrifying fireballs. The hardest part was gathering the courage (stupidity) to reach out and grab the flaming cloth ball. My brain kept telling my hand to reach for it, but my arm would only extend halfway before I'd pull away in fear (common sense). Mouse was the first one to successfully touch the fireball, and moments later, he holding it in his hand like it was nothing. It was all downhill from there, we found ourselves drunk with adrenaline as we tossed fire around. It was so manly, I felt like I was in an Old Spice commercial or something. It was insanely fun/scary/stupid and we both walked away without a scratch/burn. Check out the pictures and don't try this at home!

Day 359: Roadkill

     I feel so bad about this one. I was just driving around, minding my own business. When outta nowhere, the cutest little bunny jumps into the middle of the road. He had no idea what hit him. Unfortunately, I did. It was a 96 Subaru Outback. It was two tons of metal vs. one unlucky bunny. I don't want to go into much detail because I have respect for the deceased, but I will say that I'm not proud of myself. Poor little bunny =(.

Day 358: Try Mediterranean Food

     I bought a Mediterranean lunchable at the Natural Grocers because it looked both curious and delicious. It had falafel balls, hummus, tabbouli, and pita bread in it, all of which looked tasty annnnddd it was totally new to me. Mouse assured me that hummus was the greatest thing since sliced bread as he picked out his to-go Mediterranean dinner. Mouse wasted no time digging into the exotic dish, while I tested the waters of some pita bread and hummus. A couple timid bites later, I had sampled a little bit of everything. I found it all to be decent tasting, but really dry. There wasn't much flavor to any one entree, it was just a blur of dryness. By then, Mouse had polished of his dinner, and I had yet to even make a dent in mine. It just wasn't my cup of tea I guess.

Day 357: Energy Sheets

Vanna White

     Isn't that like, the most convincing commercial you've ever seen? Dontcha just want to take a sheet all over the place now? Stefanie introduced me to these little guys and to the sheet-load of possibilities that they possess. We bought them and found ourselves taking sheets in the most peculiar settings. I can't say much for how well the energy sheets worked, but it was a lot of fun making sheet-puns. They tasted like sheet, and I still felt tired afterwards, and they aren't approved by the FDA, but there's just something special about being able to say that you've taken a sheet in the Walmart parking lot. Fun times indeed!

Day 356: Horned Melon

   The horned melon, also know as the blowfish fruit is one freaky looking guy. At first glance, you'd swear that you were starring down a wild Pokemon from the grassy marshes of Pallet town. It's orange and round, yet green and spiky (just weird all over). Once you slice though it's exotic exterior, you are greeted with neon green guts and seeds. The meat of the fruit had a jello-like consistency and tasted really familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It was like, kind of cucumber-ish, but at the same time, it was something else. The taste wasn't very apparent, because the texture was all I could think about. It was all slimy, just like the basil seed drink from way back when. Both tasted pretty good, but looked funky and felt funkier.

Day 355: Be Ordained A Minister

     Talk about broadening my horizons eh? This is gonna look so good on my resume. I searched up a trustworthy-looking site that claimed that they would ordain me for free within a matter of minutes. All I had to do was fill in some personal info and click the send button. Then the next thing I know, I am brought to a page that congratulates me on becoming a minister. It was seriously as easy as that. Click here if you would like to become a priest in like 30 seconds too. Apparently, I can now preform weddings and probably even name babies. I'm not completely sure what the extent of my powers are, but I think there was some talk of me being able to turn water into wine. Soooooooooo you should have me entertain at your next wedding or cincuenta.

Day 354: Wrapping Practice

        This year's project is almost over and I've been have to become increasingly more creative to come up with new things for me to try lately. Christmas is farting distance away, and I have yet to discover Disney's representation of the holiday spirit. I feel like I've tried everything! I've hung up Christmas lights and I even went to Zoolights in hopes of catching this Christmas-crazed-illness that everyone around me seems to have.
     So here's my last ditch effort, I'm gonna work on my wrapping game. Unfortunately, I did my shopping online (and a little late), so my gifts won't be here in time for me to get my wrap practice in before Christmas (sorry bout that dear gift receivers). Although I was fresh out of presents to wrap, I did have an abundance of old empty boxes laying around. I decided that I would construct something (a sweet robot) out of them, and do my best at wrapping my work. If done right, people from all over should be able to tell that there is a robot-shaped object under the wrapping paper. If done wrong, then I will know that I'm just as good at wrapping as I was last year (win-win neutral situation).
     So I made my lil' robot friend and quickly began cutting paper and taking measurements as my sister and dad discussed how much of a weirdo I was. My roll of wrapping paper was near it's end so I had to use it sparingly, and the design on the wrapping doesn't face the same direction in some areas. But I'm pleasantly surprised with my wrapping job. Take a look for yourself and tell me whatcha think.

Kota isn't impressed.

Day 353: Become More Optimistic

     I think I'm an optimist. I try to find the silver lining and I look out for the good things in life. I think that optimism is a skill, and one that can always be sharpened. Yeah, sure, being a 'glass is half-full' kind of person is fine for some folks, but not me. I want to be a "this glass is overflowing with liquid gold!' kind of guy. So I looked up some tips on becoming more positive. I found a list of steps online that I am using to up my optimism levels. Here's a link to the site with the steps. Most of the steps seemed to relate to being more open with yourself and distancing yourself from negative vibes. So I guess that means to be more honest with yourself, and to stay away from all of those negative Nancys. Here's a couple of the steps;
     1)Admit your faults- I'm afraid to fail, and that makes me uncomfortable
     2)appreciate your friends- Yup
     3)avoid negative vibes- gotcha
     4)Listen to positive music- I just finished creating my 'Positive-vibes' playlist on my iPod. It's got all of my  fluffiest and most sunshine and daisy sounding songs on it.
     5)Smile- =)
     6)Make goals- I've got too many to list.

So far, things are looking good, but with the help of these steps, hopefully things will be looking phenomenal.

Day 352: Urban Snowboarding

     Fun times are guaranteed when you're doing something stupid and dangerous. Mouse called me up and asked if I would like to go urban snowboarding with him and his room mate and I couldn't have said yes fast enough. From what I know, urban snowboarding is when you get towed by some vehicle (a Subaru) and get totally rad off the urban elements around you (the slim streets in Mouse's neighborhood). I rode this thing called a snow-skate; it's the size of a skateboard, but it's made for shredding in the snow. It's got a small steering board under it and is advertised as "still the best way to injure yourself" from the site that I snagged the snow-skate photo from. I watched, and filmed, as Jeremy demonstrated how to ride. I remember being hesitant about my turn because of how fast Mouse was driving, but my turn had arrived, so I laced the rope around my glove and hunkered down on the board. My first go went better than I thought it would. I leaned back as far as possible and hung on to the rope for dear life as the Subaru towed me though suburbia. I had some tumbles, and a lot of close calls (man those parked cars seem to just jump outta nowhere), but I also had some pretty saweet runs too. But winter still sucks.

Day 351: Black Licorice

Cat shaped licorice

     Black licorice has always been easy for me to avoid. It seems to be one of the few foods I've come across that is used exclusively to gauge how gross something is. It's like, there's seaweed-gross, then there's fruitcake-gross, and (somewhere in that ballpark) then there is black licorice-gross. After trying it I can't say that it is worse than the seaweed or the fruitcake, but it was far from good too. I couldn't find many redeeming qualities about black licorice while surfing the web either. An article I found on Webmd.com said that eating too much black licorice can lead to abnormal heart rhythms. And the guys on the Yahoo-answers forum used an excessive amount of exclamation marks when typing out their anti-licorice-rants. It's just a crappy tasting (I don't think it counts as candy) food, and everybody knows it. It looks like black licorice, it smells like black licorice, and worst of all, it tastes like black licorice.

Day 350: Mind Reading

I get bored

     Mind reading? What a bunch of bologna right? With all of these Chis Angel weirdos running around making magical claims about the supernatural, it's hard to tell who the fakers are. Paranormal occurrences seem to be happening all around us, it's just a shame that nobody can prove it. That's why -although I'm a total skeptic- I decided to put one particularly suspicious claim to the test. I wanted to find out if I could read minds. To help me find out, I adopted the exercise from one of the opening scenes of Ghostbusters.
     I made 60 flash cards, all of them had either a square, triangle, circle, or star drawn on them. There were 15 flash cards for each shape. Then I tossed them into a bucket and had my brother pick out each card one at a time while I guessed (er, I mean answered telepathically) each one. I hung up a blanket between us to ensure that I couldn't see any of my brother's cards. Sean patiently plucked out each card as I guessed. Once all the cards were picked, we went over my answers and found that I can read my brother's thoughts about as well as I can read my own. I ended up getting 15 of the 60 cards right, which is exactly where the law of probability said I'd land. With a 1 in 4 chance of guessing the right shape, a score of 25% sounds about right.
     So it seemed obvious that I was merely guessing and not relying on any mystic mind reading abilities. But I wanted to be sure that it wasn't a fluke. That's why I constructed a tin foil that Sean would wear as we repeated the test. He'd pick a card at random like normal, and I'd write down my guess, but Wikipedia tells me that tin foil hats block brain wave activity. This means, that if I was using any mind reading talents, they'd be dulled down by Sean's hat. If I did worse on the second test, it would back up the notion that a tin foil hat would interfere with my mind reading, thus solidifying the possibility of mind reading in the first place.

     So we went through with the experiment again, and then we went about grading it as well. And as it turns out, I did better on the second test. I actually got a higher score (26%) on the one that I was supposed to bomb. And I know that the two scores were too ridiculously close to make a claim, but results are results!
     In the end, I've decided that I don't have any mind reading capabilities (dang!), and that my scores were left up to chance. It only took me 60 flash cards, a few yards of tin foil and forty minutes to establish that I can't read minds.

=(

Day 349: Skin Absorption Test

     For reasons I'm not sure of, I was watching a infomercial for a product called Shower Shock on YouTube. It was a bar of soap that was infused with caffeine, so you could take a shower and get your daily java-fix at the same time. The caffeine would be absorbed through your skin as you bathed, then it you make it's way into your bloodstream and to the rest of your body. Apparently the stuff really works (although not all that well. Skeptics claim that it would take a full two hours of soap lathering to get the same amount of caffeine from the two cups of Joe that the product promises). In the end, I figured that the soap was a waste of money. But fortunately, I learned that the human skin is all spongy and stuff, which got me thinking, "What else can my skin absorb?". What I found was a bottle of Superfruit vitamins. All I wanted to do, was to see if my skin could successfully absorb the contents of the capsule. So I crushed the pill, then I spread it out evenly across my arm, and secured the vitamin down with a generous amount of scotch tape. Then I just let the crushed remains lay on my arm for about an hour or so. Once it was time to take the tape off, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my skin was free from vitamin crumbs. The whole area on my arm was clear in fact. So I guess that's one way to take a pill, it takes over an hour, but at least you don't have to deal with that plastic pill taste in your mouth.