Day 363: Investigate A Conspiracy

     I don't suppose that many of you have heard of a man by the name of William Tapley. He's some old kook that claims that he has unraveled the secret of the conspiracy that has plagued the Denver International Airport (DIA) in recent years. He says that phallic images are hidden throughout the airport and that they are sure fire signs of the end times. He believes that our leaders are trying to get on Satan's good side by covering the airport with suggestive symbols. You'd have to be hopped up on goofballs to believe any of this garbage. The amount of crazy that this guy was spewing out of his face-hole was insane, but Mouse and I decided to go with it anyway. We wanted to snoop around the airport and see if we could find proof of the Satan-worshiping-wiener-dissemblers (never thought I'd say that).

     We were greeted by Mr. Tapley's most convincing evidence of a satanic conspiracy at the entrance of the airport, the giant blue devil horse. At 32 feet tall, and 9,000-pounds, this hellish fiberglass statue is one of the freakiest works known to man. It's seriously evil. His burning red eyes and hellish demeanor just freak me out. Not to mention, the artist of the Hell-horse was crushed and killed by a chunk of the cursed art while he was working on it. Everything about this thing screams Satan! So we carried on...

If you squint reeeeeeeally hard...

     Once we got inside, we began scouring the grounds for anything phallic. We looked at some rather disturbing paintings and support beams, but we really had to let our imaginations run wild to find anything that even remotely looked like something phallic. Personally, I just think that this William Tapley guy has his mind in the gutter. We tried, we really did. We spent a good hour in that airport looking for suggestive shapes, but I guess our gay-day just isn't as precise as Mr. Tapley's. Here's what some of the pieces of art that we dug up, see if you can find something phallic or Satanic.

Odd stuff

Need I say more?