Day 336: Email God

     As you may know, I have recently started my own religion. It's been a slow process getting it going, so I enlisted the help of someone that I think can help me out. I decided to take my questions up to the big man himself, God.
     As it turns out, I'm not the only guy that's trying to get in touch with the 'guy upstairs', there's quite a few websites that Google turned up that specialize in sending emails to God. I picked a site called sendemailtogod.com (I liked the ring of it). Here's what I wrote:

     

     "Hey God, whats up?

I'm Kyle, but you probably know that. In fact -if you're real- then you know everything, including the reason why I'm typing this very e-mail. I bet you get so annoyed with people all over the world that reiterate their trials and tribulations into your all-knowing ears. So I'll do my best to  refrain from stating the obvious.

     As you obviously know (sorry), I'm not a believer (sorry again). So much so that I recently decided to start my very own religion. I tried to make it as ethically sound as possible, but I still think I could use some pointers. I've got all the major kinks taken care of so far. But it would really help me out if you would let me in on any helpful advice you might have about your experience being an all-knowing deity. I'm pretty new at being God so any advice is good advice. Thanks a lot big man!"