Day 46: The Salt Water Cleanse

     The salt water cleanse is a challenge that I have been planning on trying for while now. Basically, its a quart of warm water with 2 tablespoons of non iodized salt, that will make you have to cleanse your bowels withing minutes of chugging it. The instructions made sure to say that you should expect diarrhea within 15 minutes to 2 hours of drinking the salt solution. So, Kevin and I picked up some salt and headed over to his house for what we hoped to be a pooping fiesta. We stirred the mixture into four heaping glasses, two glasses for each of us. The instructions said to "test the waters" and make sure that the drink was extra salty, like really salty. I took a sip from my cup and sure enough, along with it being way too hot for my own good, I had an extremely salty beverage. Thats about when I realized that this challenge was not going to be fun (even though I can't recall a time where explosive diarrhea was ever fun). The hot salt water tasted horrible. It was like I had just microwaved ocean water. But Kevin and I began to chug it anyway. I think this whole cleanse thing should count as two challenges, cause (although no one told me) actually getting the water down proved to be an obstacle in itself. I got a couple gulps in when I had to take a break and rest my taste buds. We switched off from chugging with our eyes squinted to showing our disgust with tongues sticking out and our eyes still squinting. Eventually, we both had both of our cups emptied. We passed the time by playing some singing game (I think its the vocal version of rock band, it had special little microphones and everything) that told me what I already know; I suck at singing. I sat there, rapping to Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" when I noticed my stomach growling. That got me excited (it wasn't good excitement) and so I drove home so I could do my business in private. I got home and to my disappointment, nothing happened. Nothing at all. I waited for almost two hours before I called bull on the whole cleanse. I went to bed and slept until around 4:30 in the morning when my stomach woke me up. I figured that maybe the flush was about to actually work, so I went back to the bathroom one last time. But yet again, nothing happened. I checked my phone which had an unread message from Kevin that simply read "Oh my god". So it worked for him, but not me. I guess I can't be too sad that I was spared the diarrhea, but I had my heart set on this goal for like a week now. Maybe I'll try it again, but its not looking hopeful.